Wedding Speeches – Dos & Don’ts

Speeches are an integral part to any wedding reception. When planning with a client, I always make a point of discussing speeches as they are often a grey area for couples and often don’t turn out as you would hope. Here are my tips for giving great speeches at a wedding. Brides, grooms, wedding planners, please feel free to share this blog post with all your speech givers, you know, just so everyone is on the same page.

First, the dreaded don’ts…

Don’t

Rely Too Heavily on Inside Jokes
Please, save your guests the time and weird looks. They don’t understand them. Keep the number of inside jokes in check, only as many as ABSOLUTELY necessary.

Bring Up Past Relationships
“Oh John, you’ve always been quite the ladies’ man. I can’t believe you finally settled down!” We’ve all heard it before and got a little nauseous. This day is about the bride and groom tying the knot, not about their previous escapades. It’s just awkward. Just don’t do it.

Wing It
You will forget to say something important and you will regret it, I promise you. Speeches are best when they are concise and eloquent. Pauses and “umms” are a great way to lose your audience.

Image Source: Supreme Sound DJ

Drink Too Much
Please everyone, grandma is watching. Yes, the bar is open but try to limit your binge drinking until after your speech is done. We’ve all said some stupid things under the influence and your best friend’s wedding probably isn’t the time to bring up that time in Vegas when… well… I think you get my point.

Thank Everyone
Yes, it is important to thank all the people that contributed to your grand occasion. However, thanking each and every member of your friends and family by first and last name is quite time consuming. Be swift and concise. Don’t be THAT Oscar speech, *cue musical interlude*.

Do

Thank Everyone
Woah, curveball. If you are planning on thanking your parents, thank your spouse’s parents as well. They are equally as important, even if you don’t see eye to eye. While thank yous should be swift and concise, blatant exclusions are upsetting and will definitely be noticed.

Humour
Your guests came for a good time. Don’t be shy to show your true colours and bring some laughter to the party. It will ALWAYS be well received and guests LOVE interactive speeches. It makes them feel involved and that they’ve played a role in your big day.

Be Conscious of Timing
Yes, this is your 15 minutes of fame, but please, don’t make the speech 15 minutes. Guests are already glued to their seats for hours during dinner. Don’t extend the misery. People came to dance and enjoy the open bar. Keep the vibe casual and fun.

Limit the number of speeches in your itinerary. We don’t need to hear from every single member of your 16 person bridal party how great and wonderful you are. Your guests know that already, that’s why they’re attending. Less is more.

Speeches should be given while guests are naturally in their seats, i.e. during dinner courses. NEVER interrupt dancing to give a speech. You will completely ruin the moment and, depending on your guests, you may not be able to fully recover from this vibe-killing blow.

Image Source: I Do Crew

Speak from the Heart
You may never have the chance to formally address your audience this way again. Say what is true to your heart and be complimentary. If the couple has hired a videographer, your speech will be a permanent memory in their archives. Who doesn’t love a good tear jerker?

Practise!
Confidence is key and you’ll certainly feel a lot better about your speech if you know your stuff. Time yourself and rehearse in front of people to calm your stage fright jitters.

Image Source: Fiona Clair Photography

Featured Image Source: Jose Villa Wedding Photography

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Things to Consider When Picking Your Wedding Date (No, I don’t mean the piece of arm candy you’ll be bringing as your +1)

Sometimes the very first tasks in the wedding planning process can seem the most daunting. Picking your wedding date can be one of those. While I would always recommend giving yourself at least a year after you get engaged to allot for dress fittings, showers, bachelorettes, etc., each couple is different and has different expectations for what their big day will look like.

In an attempt to relieve some of your wedding planning stress, here is a list of some factors that may be overlooked when considering the date of your wedding.
Image Source: Peaches & Mint

Weather
There is a reason the spring and summer months are considered “high season” for weddings. The weather allows for strapless dresses, outdoor photos and cocktail hours on sun kissed patios. If this is the wedding you picture for yourself, you’re going to want to pick a date within these warmer months, knocking off at least 6 of the 12 possible months to get married in.

High/Low Season
There is an established high and low season existing in the wedding industry. Most couples prefer the warmer months making this the high season and driving vendor prices up. Couples can save quite a bit by getting married outside of the warmer months. And why not? There are many venues that are spectacularly gorgeous on the inside and face it, those FAUX-fur bolero jackets are stinking cute.

Day Of The Week
Saturday is generally the most ideal day to get married, making it the most expensive. Venues try to fill their Fridays and Sundays by offering them at a lower rate. Over the past year, I have certainly seen an increase in clients taking advantage of the cost savings. If you are a little more price sensitive or simply prefer to allocate more funds elsewhere (like décor or elaborate food stations), consider getting married on a Friday or Sunday of a long weekend.

Availability of Venue/Vendors
If you already have an ideal venue in mind or a florist that you simply can’t get married without, your wedding date will have to coincide with their availability. Have an ideal date in mind when approaching your vendors but have a few backup dates in case they are already fully booked.

In-Season Flowers
If you are a die-hard fan of peonies and NEED them in your bouquet, centrepieces, etc., than you know you’re looking at a May/June wedding. Some people have sentimental connections towards particular blooms and incorporating them into their special day can mean the world to them. If this sounds like you, make sure you know when that flower is in season wherever you live to avoid expensive importing costs.

Out-of-Town Guests
If you will have a lot of guests coming from other places, you may want to consider a time of year that would make it easier for these guests to attend, i.e. perhaps a time when flights are cheaper or when accommodation will be more easily accessible and reasonably priced. If these out-of-towners are particularly important to you, their schedules (while they may be flexible) can also play a role in your date selection.

Your Work Schedule
Teachers have the summer months off and accountants are typically crazy busy leading up to tax season. Whatever your occupation, there may be times during the year when it will be difficult to get time off or more stressful times when you’ll have a hard time leaving work at work. Your wedding should be as stress-free as possible; you don’t want to be hunkered down with thoughts of deadlines and added pressure on your coworkers. Having some extra time to take care of last minute details doesn’t hurt either.

Your Future Anniversary
Think about your anniversaries to come. Scheduling a wedding on or near a close loved one’s birthday could potentially cause conflicts in the future when you’ll be torn between celebrating the birthday and spending the weekend away to celebrate your anniversary. If possible, keep these dates separate. Your anniversary should always be special and unencumbered.

Image Source: Oh So Beautiful Paper

If you have any questions about your wedding planning process, feel free to contact me about my consultancy services. Based in Toronto, Canada, available internationally. Happy planning!
P: 1-416-904-7499
E: info@rikkimarconeevents.com

Feature Image Source: Artifact Uprising